Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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