I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can you bring me the toilet please
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
