afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
