Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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