nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
