Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
