U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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