quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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