I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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