Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We smell like vodka and hangover
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