yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
