i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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