i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I understand Curling. That high.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
