Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
