Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
