Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
