Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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