My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
