what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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