had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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