where am i from again
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
