There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize