We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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