i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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