You're my little dorito
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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