it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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