The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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