I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i dont even know how to be here
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
