Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
