omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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