it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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