whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
