At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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