i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize