I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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