She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
