So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
