32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
