question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
