Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
