Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just pee around me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
