just tell him i said nine months
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
