Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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