sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
