what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Four minutes until I can fart!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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