Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
