I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
