The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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