he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
