i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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