I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My dick has a subreddit
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
