worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
