Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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