THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
