I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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