Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
