i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
