Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
