so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
